Why are some Malay Muslims so judgmental and derisive to non-conforming members of the community?

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I am Malay and nominally Muslim, and while I adhere to certain tenets of the religion, primarily those that I find make sense, I have found myself drifting further away from the religion by the constant badgering of certain family members about how I always am not, in their eyes, being the best Muslim I can be. I do not

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