I’m Attracted to Men and I Hate Myself for it


I dont really know where to begin.
Im 23 years old and i am attracted to men and i hate myself because of it. I dont want to say i am gay because that sounds wrong to me. I don’t feel attraction for women.
I generally avoid boys and feel uncomfortable talking to them due to this issue.
Ive never done anything dodgy with a boy in my life and i would rather die than do anything.
Although as a child i was molested by a close relative and i have never told anyone about that and i cant because it will ruin my family and my life.

What can i do?
This is the first time ive ever asked for help about this.
Im not a troll im just desperate to help.
Ive read on one occasion that if someone were to have this kind of issue that suicide is best.
Is that really true?

Please please help me. I have nowhere else and no one else to turn to.