Aiseyman! Closeted Muslim will celebrate this Hari Raya without his mum


I have been in the closet since at least secondary school and I’ve been meaning to tell my parents ever since I realized this but have never found the courage to do so. I always thought that my parents would disown me, beat the crap out of me or send me to religious classes.

Now, I'm staying with the bf in the east and I shuttle between home and the bf ever since my mom passed away a few months ago. Being the eldest in the family, I want to make sure that I make that promise to my mom happen, that I would take care of dad and all of my siblings as best as I can and as she would have wanted me to.

The night before she passed away, I made that promise to her by her bedside in the hospital. And I also told her that she did not have to be too worried about me because I had found someone, it was a man, we take very good care of each other and it was someone she knew and liked very much. I swear she probably did the math at some point before this and I like to think that although I whispered this to her at her feet, she heard every word.

It's not going to be the same this Raya without you mom, but we will cope and I will remember you always, fretting over all of us even to the extent of calling me to make sure I had my dinner when I was working late in the office.

I still miss you so much and I regret not spending more time with you back then but I will fulfill the promise I made to you that night. Rest in peace mama.