Muslim lady should help herself by finding a job instead of contemplating suicide


Hello Gilbert

I hope you are well. I came across your FB posting on the man who attempted to jump at Bedok Blk 16.

I decided to write to you, knowing the situation I went through recently and almost took my own life too.

Please pardon my grammar and phrasing of sentences, asIi am writing to you on impulse and in an unstable state.

I am in your friendlist and am (or perhaps was) an active volunteer, working together with charity bodies and movements and even came down to support your rallies at HLP on few occasions.

However, now, I am losing the hope to live.

The troubles began when my husband took up loads of loans. It’s a huge amount, oweing 8 legal/licensed moneylenders and 1 illegal (loanshark).

All to pay for his outstanding taxi rentals and accident excess.

One thing led to another and everything snowballed over time.

We have a huge bill piling up too – unpaid power supply, unpaid Singtel, unpaid HDB loan etc.

HDB sent letter to repossess the flat some time back, but we went down to the HDB office to explain and bought some time.

My Singtel, residential home phone, MIO, wifi have all been cut off due to our inability to pay the bills.

Our conservancy and SP bills all mounting to more than $1k each.

Power will be cut off tomorrow if we cannot pay $500 at least.

I still have 2 schooling kids and I’m trying to figure out how can we live in such a state.

Loansharks sent threat messages and made my life hell.

I have reported twice to the police. I cried myself out every night, until my eyes are swollen and black.

My heart aches alot…till I cannot breathe and get mini attacks.

I am trying to live day by day.

After all this, we advised him to return the taxi…as the taxi gave us too much problems from the beginning.

He cannot make ends meet, thus took loans from both legal and illegal sources.

Unable to pay the existing loans and bills, he took up more and more loans to try and cover them up.

Everyday, he’d drive his taxi, just to pay off the daily loans and interest.. without paying the taxi rentals.

When the taxi rentals pile up, he took another loan to pay the outstanding rentals. It’s a big messy cycle.

We wanted to see the MP, but they are only available on the 9th March, taking 2 weeks leave due to CNY.

There are lots of things currently in my mind.

Dont know until when I can hold on. My nights are sleepless and full of worries.

I checked the main door ever so often, and even sat at the stairs through the night, just to make sure no one came to spray paint.

I am so tired. I wish i can just sleep and never wake up. I’ve totally given up with this life. Today is my birthday, but i do feel anything special. Life is suffocating.

Recently, I have borrowed a sum from my cousin to pay the final payment to the loanshark… coz that has to be settled first.

Now, am left only with the licensed ones.

However, the harrassing still continues. The taxi has since been repossessed, and my husband has been jobless for almost 2 weeks.

The kids need to go to school, but we do not have anymore daily income, nor do we have any savings. It is a struggle for us to live on a daily basis.

Last Friday, i accompanied my husband for a debt counselling session.

We were advised and provided with solutions and strategies, to overcome all our liabilities (mounting up to $30k+).

One of which was to engage an OA (Official Assignee) and be prepared to go up and down the supreme court.

Pretty rough road, but that’s the best solution to settle the debts once and for all.

Whole process will probably take about 2 months. But to get an OA, we have to come up with $1800. Thats the tough part as both of us are jobless.

Therefore, this problem will continue to be unsettled until we can get that $1800 and begin the process.

I need to seek for financial loan and assistance (mainly for the utility bills).

Fyi, im staying in a 4 room flat. Banks won’t allow personal loans, especially when both myself and husband are not working. The HDB loan itself is a killer, as we have to pay $1050 cash every month.

We do not have anymore CPF savings.

Looking at the DAILY loans, stretching to as long as 5 weeks.. I am frequently getting mini heart attacks. Cannot even think straight now.

This is not yet inclusive of the utilities and other bills like:

I am sorry to bore u with my life story.

All I need is someone to release my tension to. My parents have disowned me due to this, although it seemed unfair, as its not my mistake to begin with. They wanted me to get a divorce, but i was against it.

Why should I, when my husband doesn’t have any bad habits like gambling, taking drugs, drinking alcohol etc?

He is also not an abusive husband. His only mistake is his loans.

So, due to my reluctance to give in to my parents, they disowned me.

Now I am alone. I do not have many friends and have always kept my circle very small.

I am trying to be strong (for the kids) but it is very difficult to stay focused these days.

Thinking of the possible power cut tomorrow and whats for lunch/dinner  gets me stressed up again…





Editor's Note: Aiseyman! Good natured Singaporeans at have helped this lady by supporting her with counselling sessions and crediting $100 to her bank account. But it is much better to teach a man to fish rather than give him a fish don't you think?